My Wemberly

Perhaps I should change Doodle's blog name to Wembely, the name that I gently call her to settle her down when she is being a worrywart. (If you don't have Kevin Henkes' book Wemberly Worried and you have a worrywart, you should have it on your bookshelf).

For the past few weeks, I've been getting to work by 7 a.m. so I can pick Doodle and her friend up from music camp in the afternoon; the other girl's parents are doing the morning drop off. This morning at 8 a.m. my office phone rings and Doodle asks where her camp name tag is. I realized that it was still in my purse; it generally stays at camp but I picked her up early yesterday for a dentist appointment and she didn't de-geek. She immediately began to worry that she would get in trouble and that no one would know who she was (she's been at this camp for 12 days now, and everyone knows her name). She begged me to drive home and bring her the name tag, or else she wouldn't go to camp today. I declined and gave her the reasons why no one would care if her name tag was missing. She begged some more. Again I declined, this time telling her that I bet she is the only kid at this camp who would worry about a missing name tag. This seemed to get through to her, and she changed the subject. I should keep track of the amount of time I spend listening to her worries, both big and inane (like this one); I think the figure would astound me.

Of course, this phone call was somewhat preferable to the one I received on Monday morning to tell me that our 2.5 year old fish died. The two goldfish scooped up at our pool on July 4 live on.

CCAI Reunion

We were among the 400 or so people at the CCAI Mid Atlantic Reunion on Saturday. Doodle was part of Group 114, and more than 1,000 groups have followed over the past eight-plus years. Kind of mind blowing. Tootle was adopted through another agency, but in some ways I feel that her connection to CCAI is stronger than Doodle's. Tootle spent the first nearly three years of her life in foster care through the Lily Orphan Care Center in Hangzhou, funded by CCAI's charitable arm. CCAI trained Tootle's foster family, and they must have done a terrific job because Tootle was developmentally on track, or even advanced, when she came home. This reunion was my opportunity to thank CCAI's president and founder, Lily Nie (pictured with the girls), for setting up LOCC in Hangzhou. Lily told Tootle that she probably held her when she was a baby because she went to Hangzhou every summer at that time. The reunion also gave Doodle a chance to reconnect with her preschool pal, who we don't see often enough. I got to meet up with a few families with children from Hangzhou, spend time with old friends, and talk with some awesome single moms whom I hadn't met before. If there were an award for laughing the hardest at the puppet show, Tootle would have won it. And a lion dance in July is pretty cool, even if it was 95 degrees and the guys in the costumes must have been drenched.

A Fishy Fourth

Thanks to our pool's rather inhumane finale of a full day of July 4th activities --the goldfish catch -- we are now the proud owners of two more goldfish, Superstar and Glitter Gill. Tootle, who may yet turn into a fish this summer because she wants to spend every waking hour at the pool, loves the headband her Nana bought her. Meredith Viera also wore this headband on the Today show this morning. Meredith looked ridiculous, but Tootle can pull off the look.

A Picture That Says More Than 1,000 Words

I snapped this picture a few weeks ago when we were at my aunt's house for a family reunion, and it's significance escaped me until I printed some of the photos this week. This picture perfectly captures my daughters' personalities. Tootle is practically jumping out of the picture; she is exuberant and joyful and lives life large. She keeps me entertained, and I marvel at her strength of character and leadership traits. Doodle is more reserved, refined, and cautious. Her smile is the one that makes a teacher, or a mom or a friend, feel better when they are having a bad day. She is generous, and had no problem sharing the swing with her sister when she asked. I'm so grateful that my girls are so different; it makes life so much more interesting.

The Playdate

Tootle did indeed have a playdate yesterday. It resulted in two mischievous girls getting into a lot of trouble. Tootle and her partner in crime decided to write their names and practice writing other letters in permanent marker on the wall, hardwood floor, stuffed animals, other girl's dress, Tootle's arms and feet, etc. while the other mom talked on the phone in the next room. By the time I arrived to pick Tootle up, the mom, who apparently went pretty ballistic and banished the girls to the swing set, had calmed down and managed to remove the evidence from the hardwood floor. I think she'll be repainting the wall and throwing away the dress and a few stuffed animals. (The marks on Tootle's body quickly came off in the swimming pool last night.) Tootle reports that it was her friend's idea, and I believe her because she has has never written on a wall or anything else and certainly doesn't know where they keep the permanent markers. The ones in our house are strictly for Doodle's use, mostly for school projects.

Once the friend's mom calms down even more perhaps she will be willing to accept some responsibility for the incident. This wasn't a quick project, so if she had been paying attention she would have caught them in the act. She didn't notice until she took the girls for a bike ride and saw the marks on her daughter's dress. The incident did highlight for me the different child rearing approach of my generation from my mom's. I too mostly let Doodle and her friends play on their own when they are inside, getting them started on an activity and checking in periodically. I often eavesdrop because I love to hear their conversation, but I also believe that they need independent play and that they know to come to me if there is a problem that they can't work out. When I recounted the incident to the 60 and up crowd (my mom and Doodle's piano teacher), they responded: Where was the mom? My mom is much more hands on during playdates, and this would have never happened on her watch. It would have happened on my watch but I would probably have caught it sooner. I'm willing to accept that there will be some messes to clean up in exchange for more independence.

Hopefully Tootle won't be banned from her friend's house as a result of this incident. I think I'll have Tootle send a note of apology. She was still too upset to say she was sorry yesterday afternoon.

Sleeping Cap

Tootle decided that she would fall asleep faster if she wore her preschool graduation cap. Perhaps it will lead her to have a dream about being a doctor. The other day she asked me who doctors go to when they need medical attention. The question led to a 10-minute discussion of various medical specialties, including ENTs and plastic surgeons, of course.

Tootle is a bit out of sorts this week because her best friend is in Turkey until early August. Tootle alternates between asking when they can have a playdate and when we are going to Turkey. I think she expects us to hop on a plane for that playdate that she wants so badly. It doesn't help that her other neighborhood pal is also out of town and several of her other friends are in day camps. Doodle is also going to camp for the next several weeks, so Tootle is quite lonely. I need to arrange a playdate for her STAT.

Cartwheels

With varying degrees of success...