Helicopter Parenting

In 4th and 5th grade, Doodle brought home mid-term reports that showed her grades on all the assignments, tests, etc. in the quarter to date. These reports had to be signed by a parent and returned to school. Some teachers only sent them home if a student's grade was C or lower (as a warning sign; Doodle never got one of those), but other teachers sent them home for every child. This year I'm experiencing the turbo charged, souped up middle school reporting system--and I have some concerns about it.

I can go online 24-7 to check on Doodle's homework assignments as well as her grades on quizzes, tests, and other assignments. I also receive e-mail messages prompting me to check when a grade is posted. There aren't too many grades posted yet, but thus far Doodle has 100 percent in everything, mostly spelling, math, and science quizzes. I haven't logged on in a few days, so I just checked and found that there is no math homework tonight because they are doing an in-class project (maybe we'll have time to go shopping for cleats; the ones that I bought a month ago are already too small--this kid's feet never grow that fast).

Oops, that tangent was a bit too long. I don't want to be policing Doodle's schoolwork this closely, but it's hard to resist when the data is so easily available. I want Doodle to take responsibility for tracking her homework assignments and making sure they are complete. She does a good job of turning in all her assignments on time without a need for me to nag, but if she wasn't, I would rather that she suffer a few consequences at school than have me looking closely over her shoulder. I'm not going to be in the room when she's 19 and has a major term paper to complete. By middle school, I think kids should be responsible enough to do their work without hovering parents. When Doodle was younger, I would pack up her homework and special projects in her backpack, making sure everything was complete. In the past year or two, she has taken on this job. I think I'll be walking a fine line this year if I find information that concerns me in the data reporting system.

This year Doodle has begun setting her alarm clock and getting up on her own (last year I practically had to drag her out of bed). This morning the alarm didn't go off, so I was the back up (she woke up so easily that I didn't even have to sing her special wake up song). I think I'll view my schoolwork role as a back-up one. I'll be there to help get things back on track if Doodle's responsibility alarm doesn't go off. I hope I spend most of the year on the sidelines.